Matt Paknis Leadership Development

Workers are blamed and held accountable and punished for not meeting irrational and unrealistic expectations rather than encouraged to seek, and eliminate, root causes preventing goal attainment. "1. Catch people doing something right.  2. Attack problems and not people.  3.  Set clear and rational goals, roles, and processes with employee input."  - Ken Blanchard #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 "The coward only threatens when he / she is safe." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "An attack upon our ability to tell stories is not just censorship - it is a crime against our nature as human beings." - Salman Rushdie #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure." - Confucius "One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation." - Arthur Ashe #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Training is informal and not procedural so any mistake or misstep can be blamed on the worker. Bullied workers are set up to fail and often entrapped to knock their confidence.

"Indeed, this life is a test. It is a test of many things - of our convictions and priorities, our faith and our faithfulness, our patience and our resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires." - Sheri L. Dew #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." - Bertrand Russell #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullied organizations and individuals display PTSD symptoms. Like a deer in headlights, they freeze when bullied. It’s a fear-based response, where criticism evokes memories of a critical parent or bully.

"It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor (them) for what (they are)." - Hermann Hesse #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"One of the signs of a bad coworker (and boss) is a pattern of persistent undermining - intentionally hindering a colleague's success, reputation, or relationships." - Adam Grant #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullying managers leverage email, voicemail, text, cell phones and other bullies to communicate unclear and accusatory messages meant to put the target or recipient on defense and focused on the bully instead of production and healthy performance/functioning.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.  Shame breeds fear. It crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust." - Brene Brown #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"What we can control is our performance and our , and that's what we're going to focus on." - Bill Belichick #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Good managers don’t #micromanage, and they are not overly critical of subordinates. Employees need to know when they perform below or above expected levels and how to correct or sustain this performance with constructive feedback based on observations and facts.

"The truth will make you free." - Jesus Christ "Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." - George Washington "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Fear again. If you want to control someone, all you have to do is to make them feel afraid." - Paulo Coelho #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullies create and either heroically put out their own fires, or they expect others to solve these problems, but a bully only passes on impossible problems, so those beholden to the bully fail to meet these unrealistic expectations.

 "When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did." – Jill Blakeway #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Anyone see the Father of our Country's profile? "Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness." - George Washington #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullies interrupt. They lack respect and consideration and fail to practice appropriate boundaries with their workers.

"The safety of the people shall be the highest law." - Marcus Tullius Cicero #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Brains, like hearts, go where they are appreciated." - Robert McNamara #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Given the following three choices—lack of recognition, lack of money, and lack of challenge—85% of employees who’ve left an organization state it’s because they didn’t feel appreciated or recognized.

"Each one of us can make a difference. Together we make change." - Barbara Mikulski “Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.” - Maureen Killoran #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Effective managers provide constructive performance feedback, based on observable facts, to improve outcomes.  They also share rational, mature, and respectful thoughts and behaviors with their employees.

 "All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system.” - Kris Carr "In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive." - Lee Iacocca #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

I define bullying as persistent unwelcome behavior. In the workplace, bullying also focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of under-performance. #LeadersArentBullies "If you see harassment happening, speak up. Being harassed is terrible; having bystanders pretend they don't notice is infinitely worse." - Celeste Ng "Harassment and the bullying are  learned behaviors." - Sarah McBride #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. Greed, anger, and delusion." - Bodhidharma #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

RI Reds! When stress goes unabated, it compromises a target’s mental health, and when unseen psychological trauma is caused by unsafe, stressful work conditions, it’s every bit as damaging as physical injuries. #LeadersArentBullies “Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” - Arthur Somers Roche 9.“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” - Walter Anderson #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"A hero is somebody who is selfless, who is generous in spirit, who just tries to give back as much as possible and help people. A hero to me is someone who saves people and who really deeply cares." - Debi Mazar #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"My faith helps me understand that circumstances don't dictate my happiness, my inner peace." - Denzel Washington "Success isn't measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace." - Mike Ditka #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullying victims report increased psychological distress: anxiety, depression, negative emotions, and overt anger. In the workplace, high levels of burnout and emotional exhaustion are common, as well. #LeadersArentBullies

"I believe that rejection is a blessing because it's the universe's way of telling you that there's something better out there." - Michelle Phan #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Finding a leader who cares about balancing the bottom line with running a respectful and #transparent enterprise is challenging. If you’re fortunate enough to have identified this leader, request a meeting and propose it as “cost-cutting methods” by eliminating bullying. “I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a (person's) self-respect is a sin.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Thanks again for you good birthday wishes.  I made it to 60. According to the attached CDC ACES study, odds were against my making this milestone.  Positive human interactions, like feeling supported by friends; enjoying and participating in community traditions; feeling a sense of belonging in high school; having at least two non-parent adults take genuine interests in a child can save a life. I'm proof.  Despite my big and positive childhood  presence, I experienced significant trauma and was riddled with mental and emotional anguish I was taught to conceal.  Please continue to watch out for the most vulnerable, and to unveil abuse, even where people and organizations appear strong and in no need of support.  Sometimes, they need it the most.  Thank you.  Peace, https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html

"Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more." - Mother Teresa "Look past your thoughts, so you may drink the pure nectar of This Moment." - Rumi #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Presenteeism also describes bullied workers who cannot find another job elsewhere with equivalent pay. So, they stay, show up daily, but they are present only in body and not in spirit or mind. They are the antithesis of an “engaged” worker.

 "People don't buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons." - Zig Ziglar #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you." - Roger Ebert #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct The most common, primary response is to discuss the bullying problem with colleagues. This debriefing, non-producing, time has a negative impact on productivity. This hurts the organization. #LeadersArentBullies

Zelenskyy's leadership and decency, combined with Ukraine's flourishing and free democracy, triggered Putin's fear of being exposed as an incompetent fraud.  So, like all bullies, Putin attacked. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct