Matt Paknis Leadership Development

"I remain convinced that most human conflicts can be solved through genuine dialogue conducted with a spirit of openness and reconciliation." - Dalai Lama #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup   #DignityAtWorkAct Bosses who fail to offer immediate performance feedback tend to let issues fester.  They can create perceived catastrophe out of minor issues.  When they do share their feelings, they are apt to be irrational and emotional. #LeadersArentBullies

Schoolyard bullies fear being ostracized.  They target, and enlist others to abuse, peers who trigger the bully's fear of being viewed as different.  Workplace bullies target decent and talented employees whose gifts trigger the bully's fear of being exposed as a fraud.  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Please find linked an interview with Michelle M. Horlbogen, the Gentlewomen Boss.  We discussed bullying and how my childhood and sports experiences influenced my thirty years of helping corporations around the globe  thrive with healthy leadership practices.  Thank you Michelle! https://redcircle.com/shows/4415243f-5260-4c04-87af-c55ac3798d71/episodes/7cf90b3c-9289-438a-a930-b1730f43e867

"The needs for safety, belonging, love relations and for respect can be satisfied only by people and considerable dependence on the environment." - Abraham H. Maslow "We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun." - William Glasser Social inclusion—belonging to a group—is a fundamental human need. When a bully directs coworkers to ostracize one or more of their own teammates, the team is ripped apart.  This is similar to cutting their collective soul.  #LeadersArentBullies

 

 but, mediate only when parties have equal power levels, it's clear bullying was not perpetrated, and both parties are willing to build the relationship. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct but, mediate only when parties have equal power levels, it's clear bullying was not perpetrated, and both parties are willing to build the relationship. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2021/02/25/john-geddert-gymnastics-human-trafficking/?wpmk=1&wpisrc=al_news__alert-sports--alert-national&utm_source=alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=wp_news_alert_revere&location=alert&pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJjb29raWVuYW1lIjoid3BfY3J0aWQiLCJpc3MiOiJDYXJ0YSIsImNvb2tpZXZhbHVlIjoiNTk3MjU5Y2I5YmJjMGYxY2RjZTI4ZmM0IiwidGFnIjoid3BfbmV3c19hbGVydF9yZXZlcmUiLCJ1cmwiOiJodHRwczovL3d3dy53YXNoaW5ndG9ucG9zdC5jb20vc3BvcnRzLzIwMjEvMDIvMjUvam9obi1nZWRkZXJ0LWd5bW5hc3RpY3MtaHVtYW4tdHJhZmZpY2tpbmcvP3dwbWs9MSZ3cGlzcmM9YWxfbmV3c19fYWxlcnQtc3BvcnRzLS1hbGVydC1uYXRpb25hbCZ1dG1fc291cmNlPWFsZXJ0JnV0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPXdwX25ld3NfYWxlcnRfcmV2ZXJlJmxvY2F0aW9uPWFsZXJ0In0.pRezWfjcy57lCIi2s-4Mbamy5s7HKfqgrWEsa0pPcSg

"A good leader must hate the wrong thing more than they hate the pain of doing the right thing." - Angela Jiang #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct A bullying boss is triggered by prosocial and positive workers. A bully may direct coworkers to isolate this target. A bully may keep co workers from helping the target on work-related tasks, or from fraternizing, even from taking breaks, with the target. #LeadersArentBullies

 "Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity." - Hippocrates Just turned 59 and I hope to buck this trend. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 "Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons." - Denzel Washington #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Unhealthy groups tend to expel sincere members whose  generosity, kindness, and concern for others' well-being  exceeds their own. The group attacks altruists because, by comparison, greedy and selfish members can’t identify or compete with good folks. #LeadersArentBullies

"People leave managers, not companies." - Marcus Buckingham #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "Power corrupts, and when you're in charge, you start doing things that you think are right, but they're actually not." - George Lucas #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct People tend to assume managers who graduated from prestigious business schools are not going to exploit or bully vulnerable workers.  This is naive, shortsighted, and dangerous. #LeadersArentBullies

"Great leaders don't need to act tough. Their confidence and humility serve to underscore their toughness." - Simon Sinek #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Atlantic Ocean beyond the dunes, Race Point Why are managers not prepared? Why are they incompetent to deal with bullies? The fact is relatively few businesses and management schools teach about power and control dynamics. "Predators never expect to be hunted." - Kit Rose #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 "To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest." - Flora Jessop #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

A bully who uses employer-owned technology to  discriminatory messages violates the rights of employees who identify with protected classes of people. Victims may file complaints against employers who fail to protect their employees from cyber bullying discrimination. And corporate executives and boards are often held liable for their employees' abusive and discriminatory actions, conducted in the company and on company equipment. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Leaders elevate, bullies deflate. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct In many organizations, workers complained of being held “captive” or leashed" by bullying bosses who use company-issued cell phones to contact subordinates whenever desired. This technology allows bullies to invade and violate  target  / victim boundaries outside of work.

 "Basically, to lead without a title is to derive your power within the organisation not from your position but from your competence, effectiveness, relationships, excellence, innovation and ethics." - Robin S. Sharma #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"To sin by silence, when we should protest, makes cowards out of (all). - Ella Wheeler Wilcox #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct #Cyberbullying has become a significant problem in the past decade. The ubiquity of handheld and other devices affords bullies anytime access to their prey, and harassment can often be carried out anonymously. #LeadersArentBullies

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger." - Epictetus "An offended heart is the breeding ground of deception." - John Bevere "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "Executives get what they create, or what they allow." - Henry Cloud #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct A "group think" mentality, or what can be called a “mobbing,” arises when workers sense protection and security from a boss who sends subliminal and overt messages conveying workers are safe if they don’t protect the target or rat on the boss’s bullying. #LeadersArentBullies

 "To be cruel is to be coward." - Lailah Gifty Akita #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

  It’s an honor to be profiled in Dr. Augustus White III’s book, OVERCOMING, being released today. It’s about everyday people who face and overcome adversity to make healthy and constructive impacts. This year we grappled with many highs and lows. It's hoped this book can help readers navigate their value. Dr. White is a fellow former Brown football player, and a renowned physician. I respect him for compiling these stories showing how, in apparent hopeless times, we too can and shall #OVERCOME ! https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Lessons-Triumphing-Adversity-Humanity/dp/1642935484 #immersive -view_1612882763011

 "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" - Benjamin Franklin #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Workplace bullying is often rooted in the bully’s fears of being exposed as inadequate. Any colleague who, with their natural talents, unwittingly threatens to expose a bully’s incompetence or insecurities is a potential target. #LeadersArentBullies

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 “Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” Maya Angelou #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethough5thtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Workplace bullies tend to target decent people simply because of their “talents.” These targets don’t do anything to attract or to justify #bullying. Targets do most things right.  This, of course, triggers a bully's jealousy and fear of being seen as incompetent in comparison.

"I am confident that if we stand for the hope and freedom of others we will make our own freedom more secure." - Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 A schoolyard bully picks on people who seem "different".  They are targeted because the bully fears being ostracized, too. Attacking makes a bully feel superior and in control.  A workplace bully targets talented employees who trigger the bully's fear of appearing incompetent. "Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate." - Edward Albert #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 "You will never get the truth out of a narcissist (or bully). The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain. -Shannon l. Alder #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 29% of those 24 years & younger reported being bullied at work. Workers aged 50 and older reported the same frequency. Experts suggest bullies perceive both age groups are vulnerable. Younger people are inexperienced and older workers are expendable in a youth obsessed society. "Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art." - Stanislaw Jerzy Lec #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 Yet only 23% of these witnesses report harassment, discrimination, or bullying at work. “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King #stepup #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #DignityAtWorkAct   #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

  Overt vs. Covert Bullying Bullying is not limited to a political party, gender, race, religion, or class of people.   Trump has an overt bullying style. It got him what he wanted in business, but failed in politics. I've witnessed and experienced organizational executives and officials, on both sides of the aisle, demonstrate these tactics for over 30 years, and it was almost never challenged or protested. Bystanders facilitated its continuance.   In many organizations I've also seen people, on both sides of the aisle, use covert bullying tactics to get what they want. They claim to being doing good while carrying out vile and evil behaviors for selfish gains.   We are only as strong as our weakest members of society. Until we acknowledge we are of one body, and commit to helping strengthen the most vulnerable, selfish officials will continue to divide for their own gain.   Multiple sum outcomes, where everyone is elevated and improves around a common cause, is what