Matt Paknis Leadership Development

 “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

With so many platforms and opportunities to bully on social media via digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets, policing bullies and protecting targets is more difficult than ever.  #LeadersArentBullies "People mistake silk to be weak. A  silk handkerchief can protect a wearer from a gunshot. Predators want to befriend someone they think is weak; to dominate to feel strong and important, but they are neither. It is you who is strong and courageous. You are silk."-C. JoyBell C.

"We cannot change anything until we acknowledge it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." - Carl Jung "Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality." - Bruce Lee #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Officials erroneously brand bullying as mere “conflicts” or   “differences in personality styles.”  This can be true in part, but bullying also encompasses intentional, repeated demeaning words and behaviors often considered to be forms of violence.  #LeadersArentBullies "Resist remaining in any level of denial. The truth is painful to see, but necessary." - Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Thank you! “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” – Albert Schweitzer

When a person behaves in a certain way, either positive or negative, it is because they are willing, able, and allowed. People alter behaviors for two reasons: to experience pleasure, and to avoid pain. Bullies create environments where people keep secrets to avoid pain. "Do nothing secretly; for Time sees and hears all things, and discloses all." –Sophocles "A secret is a kind of promise ... It can also be a prison." –Jennifer Lee Carrell #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"The predator wants your silence. It feeds their power, entitlement, and they want it to feed your shame." - Viola Davis #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Bullying flourishes in organizations where emphasis on quantifiable, short term, success metrics like sales revenue, production cost, “wins,” and grades can obfuscate founding  values and long term goals like worker health, safety, and well being.  #LeadersArentBullies Bullying bosses use moving targets and unclear/unachievable goals to control. Leaders us goals to liberate.  “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie #healthyworkplaces #DignityAtWorkAct

 Over the river......, safe travels.

 “Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” ― Nelson Mandela #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 Most bullies know they won’t be punished. Their incompetent and / or unethical HR associates conceal and tolerate abuse as they know exposing abuse can prove them liable.  They keep it concealed to stay on the gravy train, in positions of power and control.  #LeadersArentBullies "All share complicity in the destruction of that much under-rated phenomenon called liberty." - Barbara Amiel #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct    

Eradicating bullying is not just a “nice thing to do,” it’s a “must do.” The survival of organizations in the twenty-first century depends on trust and safety, unwelcome characteristics in bullying organizations.  #LeadersArentBullies #healthyworkplace “Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work.” – Warren Bennis #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Power-lust is a weed that grows only in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind." - Ayn Rand "Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns. Why should we let them have ideas?" - Joseph Stalin #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 

Bullying organizations who do not rid themselves of abusive interpersonal practices risk losing their most important and competitive asset—their talented employees. #LeadersArentBullies #workplaceculture "A coach's greatest asset is his sense of responsibility - the reliance placed on him by his players." - Knute Rockne #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #dignityatworkact 

  "People follow leaders by choice. Without trust, at best you get compliance." - Jesse Lyn Stoner #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup

 Storm's brewing

#UnpopularOpinion: Knowing officials who take no action to stop bullying and who fail to address and to discipline bullying employees will (and should) be liable for punitive damages, for knowingly allowing malicious and oppressive tortious acts.  #LeadersArentBullies "To ignore evil is to become an accomplice to it." - Martin Luther King, Jr. #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #stepup

"Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future." - Marilyn Ferguson #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup

Bullies survive by making subordinates feel trapped, at fault (#gaslighting) and disenfranchised.  Bullies foster compliance and dependence instead of commitment and empowerment.  Leaders create new leaders.  #LeadersArentBullies "The task of leadership is not to put passion into people, but to inspire and elicit it -- for the passion is there already." --Ty Howard #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #stepup

And the truth shall set you free.” - John 8:32. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup  

Endangered Piping Plovers, here on the beach, had a banner breeding year thanks to Covid 19.  People and their pets stayed home and away from Plover nests in the dunes.

Employees at work and children at school / church / sports, etc.,  should not have to police these organizations.  They need avenues and encouragement to report abuse and leaders who will protect them.  “See something, say something,” should be their mantra. #LeadersArentBullies “Integrity, transparency and the fight against corruption (and abuse) have to be part of the culture. They have to be taught as fundamental values.” — Angel Gurría #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #stepup

 News Alert: Vatican says Pope John Paul II was aware of misconduct allegations against ex-cardinal McCarrick nearly 2 decades before his removal - The Wasington Post "The one common factor in ALL abuse and bullying cases is: officials know." - Matt Paknis,  in "Overcoming," to be released in January 2021 by Post Hill Press.

 “Problem-solving leaders have one thing in common: a faith that there’s always a better way.” – Gerald M. Weinberg #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup

 

 When children and employees are empowered:  1.  to distinguish to align with healthy organizations, or  2.  to identify and to report bullying and abusive behaviors,  sick practices are apt to cease.  #Transparency is essential. Evil prospers in the shadows.  #LeadersArentBullies “Transparency is the antidote to hypocrisy.” - Britt Merrick #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplace #stepup

 “Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” – Voltaire #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup

It's now official, and off my bucket list, we just experienced an earthquake in Massachusetts.   Happy Sunday! 2020, the gift that keeps giving!  

 

#Resilient people acknowledge reality and the problem and look for positive outcomes and options.  Ask yourself: "am I approachindg this with a constructive mindset?"   #LeadersArentBullies “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.” ― Robert Jordan #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #stepup  

"Creativity comes from trust." - Rita Mae Brown # leadersarentbullies  #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup  

Lunar cherry picker? Bullies and bullying organizations leverage false appearances. They go to great lengths to appear competent or appealing, or they use intimidation and fear to control their followers.  #LeadersArentBullies "False face must hide what false heart doth know"- Macbeth #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

People buy and vote on emotion. “People do not buy goods and services. They buy relations, stories, and magic.” – @ThisIsSethsBlog. Keep your wits about you; bullies are masters at manipulating emotions.  #LeadersArentBullie #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #stepup

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” — Viktor Frankl Steps to mental trauma recovery. 1.  Share Trama and Secrets with a licensed professional trained in trauma recovery 2.  Identify triggers and cognitive distortions resulting from the trauma. 3.  Recognize destructive responses and  behaviors related to the cognitive distortions. 4.  Choose mindful, healthy, realistic  cognitive and behavioral responses to traumatic triggers and distortions.  5.  Choose to surround oneself with healthy, rational, realistic, objective, and mature people and projects.   Healing is always possible!

  Bad leaders cultivate in constituents a sense of financial dependence to sabotage self-efficacy. Deviant officials and managers can manipulate and leverage worker insecurities and their immature needs to affiliate. #LeadersArentBullies “The secret to happiness is finding freedom. The secret to finding freedom is being courageous.” –Carrie Jones #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #healthyworkplaces