Matt Paknis Leadership Development

"What (people) call knowledge, is the reasoned acceptance of false appearances. Wisdom looks behind the veil and sees." - Sri Aurobindo "Petty (people) are eager to make boasts, yet desire others should believe them.  They  enthusiastically engage in deception, yet want  others to have affection for them. They conduct themselves like animals, yet want others to think well of them." - Xun Kuang #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

"When fear makes you choose, no security measures on earth will keep dreaded things from finding you. By avoiding avoidance - and choosing to embrace experiences to feel whatever arises - nothing, nothing in all this dangerous world, can keep you from being safe." - Martha Beck #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct #Trauma fosters avoidance. Workers cannot approach locations, tasks, or people who trigger memories of traumatizing events. That is not a healthy or productive work environment.

"Stay strong. Stand up. Have a voice." - Shawn Johnson "There is always strength in numbers. The more individuals or organizations that you can rally to your cause, the better." - Mark Shields "If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it." - Epictetus #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"The Assembly has witnessed over the last weeks how historical truth is established; once an allegation has been repeated a few times, it is no longer an allegation, it is an established fact, even if no evidence has been brought out in order to support it." - Dag Hammarskjold #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  Studies found that nearly 25% of bullying witnesses suffered from anxiety, clinical depression, or other PTSD-like symptoms of trauma.

 "People leave when they don't feel appreciated. That's why we've made recognition a really high value. Our business is people-capability first; then you satisfy customers; then you make money." - David Novak "To win in the marketplace, you must first win in the workplace." -Doug Conant #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph." - Haile Selassie #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Coworker guilt is rooted in the shame of inaction. Guilty coworkers may also experience a sense of worthlessness for not helping and empathizing with a bullied associate. #LeadersArentBullies #workplaceculture

"Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us - in their depth, their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion." - Sharon Salzberg "Trauma offers people one of four response choices: victims, rescuers, or perps - and if you're really lucky and really strong and very willing and brave, survivors." - Allison Anders "The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect." - Peter A. Levine #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"It is counterproductive to tell people exactly what and how they are supposed to do something. They become more concerned about your expectations than about completing their work in a quality way." - Douglas Conant "Freedom is the oxygen of the soul." - Moshe Dayan #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Workplace bullying fear is analogous to putting sand in an engine. It immobilizes and freezes bystanders. Too afraid to act, they are less productive, and poor production is the opposite outcome bullies claim to demand, profess, and covet.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ― William James “Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction.” ― Chelsea Erieau “It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” ― Hans Selye #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

People who fail to intervene are afraid. They fear being the next target. They fear they might not help correctly and botch it. They fear to be the only ones to act. They fear retaliation and retribution by the bully or their employer. They fear  losing their jobs and income. "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience where you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful." - Margaret J. Wheatley "Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." - William James #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

  "Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel "Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence." - Leonardo da Vinci "Never be bullied into silence. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Coworkers collaborate and rally around their bullied coworker by confronting the bully and reporting the bully’s abusive behaviors to their employer or authorities in about 13% of workplace bullying cases according to a 2014 WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey. @garynamie 

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." - George Washington "No legacy is so rich as honesty." - William Shakespeare #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct  Controlling bullies will attempt block transfers to a safe job. They try to make targets so miserable that they quit, or try to impair a target’s health to the extent they must quit lifting the enormous burden of stress.

 

 

"The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people." - Martin Luther KinJg, Jr. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

“When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.” – Simon Sinek #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Most bullied workers admit they do the bare minimum. “I do just enough to not get fired, and nothing else,” says one bullied worker.

"The price of greatness is responsibility." - Winston Churchill "Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better." - Pat Riley #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

*Trigger Warning!*  Here's another horrific chapter, for those willing and able to read,  in one of the world's most appalling and incomplete books: "How I Failed to Stop Serial Sexual Predators I Knew Were On My Team" by Joe Paterno https://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/32496588/before-jerry-sandusky-penn-state-football-had-another-serial-sexual-predator-untold-story-crimes-fight-bring-justice https://mattpaknis.blogspot.com/2011/11/absolute-power-corrupts-absolutely.html?spref=fb&m=1

"The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullies are misled who believe short-term worker improvements justify abusive and demeaning behaviors. Workplace bullying increases worker absenteeism, mistakes,  accidents, violence, vandalism, turnover, and ill will.  These outcomes destroy  organizations.

"Employees are a company's greatest asset - they're your competitive advantage. You want to attract and retain the best; provide them with encouragement, stimulus, and make them feel that they are an integral part of the company's mission." - Anne M. Mulcahy #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement." - Brene Brown #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullied workers experience "present-eeism" (vs. absenteeism) at work. When bullies attack and ridicule all improvement efforts, workers sense no control over performance outcomes. Why bother? Motivation is lost.  Workers disengage. Focus diminishes.  Accidents increase.

"The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so." - Mark Twain "Prejudice is the child of ignorance." - William Hazlitt #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 Tennis anyone this Masters Weekend? "Don't be distracted by criticism. The only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you." - Zig Ziglar "All great was first ridiculed, condemned, combated, suppressed--to emerge more powerful, more triumphant, from the struggle." - Nikola Tesla #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces   #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Individuals want to avoid similar negative, bullying, events, so they attempt to correct their performance after being abused and berated at work. Yet, a bully always finds something wrong with every improvement. 

 

"Do not hover always on the surface of things, nor take up suddenly with mere appearances; but penetrate into the depth of matters, as far as your time and circumstances allow, especially in those things which relate to your profession." - Isaac Watts #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” – Dr. Wayne W Dyer #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Workers recall and re-experience negative events with intense emotions. In a bullying work environment, where there is a pattern of unremitting interactions, negativity threatens and damages performance and can even destroy organizations,  careers, and people.

"Trust is consistently seen as a make or break component of innovation - particularly because the freedom to fail is an important part of innovation." - David Livermore #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"We are so distracted and focused on what's next, we can fail to see what is actually in front of us." - Yungblud #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct  Supervisors feel obligated to be on call 24 hrs/day, 7 days/week, as an extension of their bullying boss. There’s no time for these supervisors and their workers to ponder their contrived existence, to seek root causes and solutions, or to complain.

"The principal act of courage is to endure and withstand dangers doggedly rather than to attack them." - Thomas Aquinas "The coward only threatens when he is safe." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Madison, NJ Dodger Undefeated 1975-1976 Midget Wrestling Team. My 1st year wrestling was a great experience thanks to my teammates and Coaches Artigliere, Jackson, and Sallie.  

"Smart people focus on the right things." - Jensen Huang "Half the time bosses think they are talking business, they are wasting time." - E. W. Howe #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullies also tend to require excessive paperwork. This overwhelms workers and undermines productivity, so the bully can further criticize workers for not meeting irrational job expectations.

"The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that it does exist." - Zig Ziglar "The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." - Nathaniel Branden #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"A (person) who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." - Charles Darwin "Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value." - Albert Einstein #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct To control their targets with fear, stress, and criticism, bullies demand useless reports they claim are essential and must be  completed in unrealistic time frames. This forces supervisors and workers to work excessive overtime.  

"Each morning offers lessons in light. For the morning light teaches the most basic of truths: Light chases away darkness." - Anasazi  #leadersarentbullies   #healthyworkplaces   #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct   #stepup   #DignityAtWorkAct