Matt Paknis Leadership Development

In unhealthy and poorly managed work environments, #management practices are depicted in extremes—either too aggressive or too casual. These extremes can allow bullying behavior to fester. #LeadersArentBullies "Trust is built with consistency." - Lincoln Chafee People trust a person who protects them when they are vulnerable; whose steady behaviors are dependable and motivating. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Not one of us can rest, be happy, be at home, be at peace with ourselves, until we end hatred and division."  - John Lewis #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Unhealthy organizations are characterized by institutionalized bullying demonstrated at all levels of leadership and accepted as common managerial practices. #LeadersArentBullies A fish rots from the head down. #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." - Steve Maraboli #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Researchers found weak economies, job insecurity, and job stressors like low autonomy and high stress / workload influence a perpetrator's propensity to bully and a target's likelihood to be bullyied. #LeadersArentBullies "Unsuccessful people make decisions based on their current situations. Successful people make decisions based on where they want to be." Anonymous #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Fear and silence are reactions.  Having the courage to tell the truth are decisions."  - Winston Churchill #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Bullying is a durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first. Resist and find strength and unity in decent coworkers and managers.  #LeadersArentBullies “Leaders inspire accountability through their ability to accept responsibility (for abusive and bullying behaviors in their organizations) before they place blame.”― Courtney Lynch #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 

 "Love conquers all." -- Virgil   #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Aggression is the wrong way to use power. There are wonderful ways to elevate thought and conduct, to be a leader, without being aggressive,” says Debra Pepler, Ph.D. #LeadersArentBullies "Aggression unopposed becomes a contagious disease." - Jimmy Carter "If you want to release your aggression, get up and dance. That's what rock and roll is all about." - Chuck Berry #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevate #DignityAtWorkAct

 "My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon.” ― Mizuta Masahide #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 A bully may pick on someone for doing well, for being recognized, for being promoted at work. This type of bully sometimes becomes jealous of the successful person and frustrated with themselves. #LeadersArentBullies “A leader. . .is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.” – Nelson Mandela #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

 "Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues." -- Steve Maraboli #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 A bully’s mental models, perceptions, judgements, and criticisms can foster prejudice against, for example, people of different races, religions, or sexual orientations. Learning starts with listening with  an open mind. #LeadersArentBullies "God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we ought to listen twice as much as we speak." ~Irish Proverb #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 "Day after day, ordinary people become heroes through extraordinary and selfless actions to help their neighbors." - Sylvia Mathews Burwell #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 A person’s capacity to be aware of others’ feelings and the ability to manage these feelings, allow people with emotional intelligence to build and manage healthy relationships.  Bullies don’t care about others’ feelings. Bullying bosses lack empathy. #LeadersArentBullies “Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.” Oprah Winfrey #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 “Leadership is unlocking people’s potential to become better.” – Bill Bradley #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Misdirected admiration of power and control facilitates bullying in the workplace.  America’s hypercompetitive culture places inordinate importance, and reward, on being in charge and powerful.  #LeadersArentBullies "To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less." —Andre Malraux "The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant." —Max DePree #leaderselevate #stepup #healthyworkplaces #DignityAtWorkAct

"Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live."  - Franklin D. Roosevelt #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 

 

People who push others around are often driven by the need for power and control.  It takes a conscious decision to bully and to  experience pleasure from having power over others. #LeadersArentBullies "Leadership is not always about your power, it's all about your ability to empower, encourage, and elevate others." - Farshad Asl #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."  - James Baldwin #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Let stated values and beliefs define and dictate an organization’s culture. Let positive behaviors and outcomes reflect the quality of the healthy psycho-social work environment. #LeadersArentBullies "Well done is better than well said." - Benjamin Franklin #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority." - Ken Blanchard #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Ending bullying lays squarely on the shoulders of management and executives and boards.  Because, in every bullying workplace, management knowingly and willingly puts their people in harm’s way.  #LeadersArentBullies #endbullying “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” – John Quincy Adams #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct  

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." -Mahatma Gandhi #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

When no one is held accountable for abusive behaviors, this non-response is the same as condoning, and being an accomplice to, bullying behavior in the workplace. #LeadersArentBullies #workplaceculture "He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers." - Charles Peguy #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Ignorance has always been the weapon of tyrants; enlightenment the salvation of the free." - Bill Richardson #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

In every batch of workers, a few bad eggs are willing, and allowed, to bully.  A small percentage of employees see these competitive systems as opportunities to harm others. #LeadersArentBullies "To add value to others, one must first value others." --John Maxwell #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule." — Charles Dickens #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

An established working culture, where behaviors are touted as “this is the way we’ve always done it, and it works,” facilitates  and encourages cutthroat competition and bullying. #LeadersArentBullies "If we don’t have a solid relationship built on mutual or reciprocal trust, then we’re both likely to reduce risk-taking and stick to a conservative and accepted formula for execution." - Ross Smith, Microsoft Innovator and lifelong friend #healthyworkplaces #stepup

 “Being a great place to work is the difference between being a good company and a great company.” – Brian Kristofek #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Bully-victim relationship signals and symptoms can be used to determine its causes and to discover what can be done to curb the behavior. The most thorough process to stopping bullying and abuse is to identify its root cause and to then eliminate or reduce this cause. "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." — Albert Einstein #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

With so many platforms and opportunities to bully on social media via digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets, policing bullies and protecting targets is more difficult than ever.  #LeadersArentBullies "People mistake silk to be weak. A  silk handkerchief can protect a wearer from a gunshot. Predators want to befriend someone they think is weak; to dominate to feel strong and important, but they are neither. It is you who is strong and courageous. You are silk."-C. JoyBell C.

"We cannot change anything until we acknowledge it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." - Carl Jung "Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality." - Bruce Lee #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Officials erroneously brand bullying as mere “conflicts” or   “differences in personality styles.”  This can be true in part, but bullying also encompasses intentional, repeated demeaning words and behaviors often considered to be forms of violence.  #LeadersArentBullies "Resist remaining in any level of denial. The truth is painful to see, but necessary." - Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Thank you! “At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” – Albert Schweitzer

When a person behaves in a certain way, either positive or negative, it is because they are willing, able, and allowed. People alter behaviors for two reasons: to experience pleasure, and to avoid pain. Bullies create environments where people keep secrets to avoid pain. "Do nothing secretly; for Time sees and hears all things, and discloses all." –Sophocles "A secret is a kind of promise ... It can also be a prison." –Jennifer Lee Carrell #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"The predator wants your silence. It feeds their power, entitlement, and they want it to feed your shame." - Viola Davis #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Bullying flourishes in organizations where emphasis on quantifiable, short term, success metrics like sales revenue, production cost, “wins,” and grades can obfuscate founding  values and long term goals like worker health, safety, and well being.  #LeadersArentBullies Bullying bosses use moving targets and unclear/unachievable goals to control. Leaders us goals to liberate.  “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie #healthyworkplaces #DignityAtWorkAct

 Over the river......, safe travels.

 “Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” ― Nelson Mandela #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 Most bullies know they won’t be punished. Their incompetent and / or unethical HR associates conceal and tolerate abuse as they know exposing abuse can prove them liable.  They keep it concealed to stay on the gravy train, in positions of power and control.  #LeadersArentBullies "All share complicity in the destruction of that much under-rated phenomenon called liberty." - Barbara Amiel #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” – Albert Einstein #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct    

Eradicating bullying is not just a “nice thing to do,” it’s a “must do.” The survival of organizations in the twenty-first century depends on trust and safety, unwelcome characteristics in bullying organizations.  #LeadersArentBullies #healthyworkplace “Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work.” – Warren Bennis #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

"Power-lust is a weed that grows only in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind." - Ayn Rand "Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns. Why should we let them have ideas?" - Joseph Stalin #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct