Matt Paknis Leadership Development

"Someone must have enough sense and morality to cut off the chain of hate and evil, and this can only be done through love.” - Martin Luther King Jr. "Hate only keeps traveling round the world, until one person chooses to break the cycle." - Abhijit Naskar #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyayworkact A bullied target may repeat the abusive behavior. When a bullied employee supervises other employees, the supervisor may mirror the belittling behavior with his or her subordinates.  Those subordinates, in turn, may direct the bullying behavior at their next available target.

"Not everyone has been a bully or the victim of bullies, but everyone has seen bullying, and seeing it, has responded to it by joining in or objecting, by laughing or keeping silent, by feeling disgusted or feeling interested." - Octavia E. Butler "Don't give in to bullying or others making fun of people. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for your friends. Be that one person who is genuinely good-hearted." - Michelle McCool #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyayworkact

"Relationships feed on credibility, honesty, and consistency." - Scott Borchetta "The truth is an objective standard by which reality is measured." - Tony Evans #healthyworkplaces #Stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyayworkact Individuals are more motivated to use objective and factual constructive #feedback delivered with tact to improve their performance than negative feedback delivered in an inconsiderate, demeaning, manner. #LeadersArentBullies

Experienced, and was blessed to transcend, 7 of these 10 events.  If you know me, you helped me. Thank you. "Remember, that of all the elements that comprise a human being, the most important, the most essential, the one that will sustain, transcend, overcome and vanquish obstacles is - Spirit!" - Buddy Ebsen "I was lucky that I met the right mentors and teachers (and coaches) at the right moment." - James Levine #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Discipline and unconditional support is earned by understanding and trust and inclusion. Not by isolation, not by nasty tricks." - Colm Keaveney "Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you." - Langston Hughes #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #healthyworkplaces #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Social inclusion—belonging to a group—is a fundamental human need. When coworkers are driven to ostracize one or more of their own, they are cutting out part of their own soul. #LeadersArentBullies

"People leave managers, not companies." - Marcus Buckingham "Research indicates that employees have three prime needs: Interesting work, recognition for doing a good job, and being let in on things that are going on in the company." - Zig Ziglar #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Solitude vivifies; isolation kills." - Joseph Roux. "The worst cruelty that can be inflicted on a human being is isolation." + Sukarno “Silent treatment in a relationship is often a sign of selfishness and weakness!” — Malbro Kingston #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Given the profile of a prosocial and positive target, bullies often command coworkers to isolate the target, prohibiting them from helping the target on work-related tasks, or fraternizing with the target, or even taking breaks at the same time. #LeadersArentBullies

"A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity." - Dalai Lama "The single most important ingredient in the recipe for success is transparency because transparency builds trust." - Denise Morrison #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and goodness. All people have faults, but all are born with basic goodness." - Anne Frank "When I wake, I have two choices, to be positive or negative. I choose an optimistic perspective." - Harvey Mackay #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #Stepup #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Toxic work groups tend to expel decent members whose honesty, generosity, kindness, and concern for the well-being of others doesn't fit. The group throws out altruists because, by comparison, the greedier and more self-interested members can’t relate to, nor tolerate, goodness.

"While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself." - Douglas Horton "Most of the mistakes in thinking are inadequacies of perception rather than mistakes of logic." - Edward de Bono #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Psychopaths are social predators, and like all predators, they are looking for feeding grounds. Wherever you get power, prestige and money, you will find them." - Robert D. Hare "Prestige is the shadow of money and power." - C. Wright Mills #leadersarentbullies  #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #Stepup #psychologicalsafetyatworkact People tend to assume prestigious business school graduates are not going to bully vulnerable workers. This is shortsighted and dangerous. The selfish, deceptive, and narcissistic traits enabling bullies to be abusive can also be found in some elite business school graduates.

"""“" People are afraid of things they don't understand. They don't know how to relate. It threatens their security, their existence, their career, image." - Bill Laswell "To revolt is a natural tendency of life. Even a worm turns against the foot that crushes it. In general, the vitality and relative dignity of an animal can be measured by the intensity of its instinct to revolt." - Mikhail Bakunin #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." - John Dalberg-Acton "To lead without a title is to derive power in an organisation not from  position but from your competence, effectiveness, relationships, excellence, innovation and ethics." - Robin S. Sharma #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Why are managers not prepared? Why are they incompetent to deal with bullies? Why are candidates with bullying tendencies still selected to management roles? The fact is relatively few businesses and management schools teach about power and control dynamics or narcissism. #Stepup

"Those who cannot work with their hearts achieve but a hollow, half-hearted success that breeds bitterness all around." - A. P. J. Abdul Kalam #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief." - German Proverb "Unless and until our society recognizes cyber bullying for what it is, the suffering of thousands of silent victims will continue." - Anna Maria Chavez #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact If a bully uses employer owned technology to post discriminatory messages, violating the rights of employees classified in protected classes, victims may file legal claims against the employer citing  failure to protect its employees from cyber bullying discrimination.

""A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit." - Arnold H. Glasow "Seek to understand over being understood. Be curious, not defensive. The only way to disarm another human being is by listening." "Glennon Doyle Melton #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

“People who violate your boundaries are thieves. They steal time that doesn’t belong to them.” - Elizabeth Grace Saunders “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘No' to almost everything.” - Warren Buffett #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #StepUp #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact In several client organizations, workers complained of being held “captive” by bullying bosses who use company-issued cell phones to contact subordinates whenever desired. This technology allows bullies to invade target and victim boundaries outside of work.

"One of the signs of a bad coworker is a pattern of persistent undermining - intentionally hindering a colleague's success, reputation, or relationships." - Adam Grant “More the knowledge, lesser the ego. Lesser the knowledge, more the ego.” – Albert Einstein #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"When you're angry, everything's a target. There are a lot of angry people in the world. These days, they're all online." - Jennifer Weiner "Digital communication relieves people of their conscience, enabling them to feel more comfortable behaving unethically." - Nancy Jo Sales #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #Cyberbullying has become a significant problem in the past decade. The ubiquity of handheld and other devices affords bullies anytime access to their prey, and harassment can often be carried out anonymously. #LeadersArentBullies

"Hiring people is like making friends. Pick good ones, and they'll enrich your life. Make bad choices, and they'll bring you down." - Jason Fried "Selecting the right person for the right job is the largest part of coaching." - Phil Crosby "Not all bosses are bad. But all bad bosses are losses. - Richie Norton #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

 

"Sometimes there must be someone who says something nobody else does on what the majority agrees but stays silent not to put a target on their backs." - Thomas Vato "Many human achievements are inspired by groups, but group behavior can also create division." - Jessica Speer #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact A mob mentality, or what can be called a “group think,” arises when workers sense protection and security from a boss who sends subliminal and overt messages conveying workers are safe if they don’t rat on the boss’s bullying.

"Leadership must be likeable, affable, cordial, and above all emotional. The fashion of authoritarian leadership is gone. Football is about life. You can't be angry all day." - Vicente del Bosque "In every age it has been the tyrant, the oppressor and the exploiter who has wrapped himself in the cloak of patriotism, or religion, or both to deceive and overawe the People." - Eugene Victor Debs "In America, we must always place constitutional values over authoritarian control." - Madison Cawthorn #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Competent and confident people  are incapable of jealousy." - Robert A. Heinlein Trust is based on character and competence, both vital. Character includes integrity, motive and one's intent. Competence includes capabilities, skills, and one's track record." - Stephen Covey #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Bullying is typically motivated by the bully’s insecurities and inadequacies. Any colleague who inadvertently and / or unwittingly threatens to highlight or expose a bully’s failings or insecurities is a potential target. #LeadersArentBullies

"Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault. They deny their own badness, so they perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others." - M. Scott Peck #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"What we don't understand, we fear. What we fear, we judge as evil. What we judge as evil, we attempt to control. And what we cannot control...we attack." - Dan Brown #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #Stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Bullies also tend to target good people simply because of their “goodness.” These targets  don’t do anything wrong to attract or to justify #bullying. Targets do many things right  actually, and this, of course, makes bullies jealous and irrational in retaliation.

75% of bystanders, when they are the lone observer, intervene when they think a person is being bullied. However, only 31% of bystanders intervene when they are part of a group of six or more observers.  They wait for someone else to  #StepUp . In 57% of cases when bystanders do get involved, the bullying stops within ten (10)  seconds. #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength." - Eric Hoffer "Bullying is for insecure and weak people." - Latto "You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #Stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact Bullies of all ages like to target those who look or sound different in some marked way. Bullies pick on those who trigger insecurities, so as to protect their own egos. Bullies distort their perceptions of targets to “less than” to make the bullies feel superior and in control.

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." - Henry David Thoreau "No legacy is so rich as honesty." - William Shakespeare "Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters." - Albert Einstein "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

 

"To add value to others, one must first value others." - John C. Maxwell "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity." - Horace Mann #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #Stepup #psychologicalsafetyatworkact 29% of those 24 years & younger reported getting bullied. The same percentage got  reported by those 50 & older. Experts suggest both age groups are vulnerable, the  younger people because of their inexperience and the older people because of society’s obsession with youth.

"We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality." - Iris Murdoch "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." - Epictetus "Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying." - Bear Grylls #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #StepUp #psychologicalsafetyatworkact