Matt Paknis Leadership Development

 Workplace bullies often target introverts. They are typically excellent listeners and deep thinkers who focus on their assignments.   Introverts are less apt to get involved in office politics. Their thoughtfulness keeps them from reacting to bullies with quick retorts.  #stepup "We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

 "It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals, than falsehood that comforts and then kills." - Adrian Rogers #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Bullies misjudge their targets.  Bullies equate niceness as weakness.  Bullies over respond and go for the kill.  Sincere and unsuspecting targets are caught off guard by a bully’s attacks.  They can't relate to a bully's fear and wonder, "why me?"  #LeadersArentBullies "There's nothing so kingly as kindness, and nothing so royal as truth." - Alice Cary #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct  

You can't heal what you don't acknowledge." - Jack Canfield #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Workplace bullying targets are typically honest, ethical, and pro-social. They see their jobs as a way to demonstrate their core  values, and as more than just a means to earning a paycheck.  This earnestness triggers a bully.  #LeadersArentBullies #workplaceculture "Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." - George Washington "Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away." - Elvis Presley  #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Bullies often target someone who is strong, who acts and thinks independently, and refuses to kowtow.  Targets are often veteran workers who are highly skilled, and well-liked and pose a threat to the incompetent bully.  #LeadersArentBullies "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." - Mahatma Gandhi #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"Employees are a company’s greatest asset – they’re your competitive advantage. You want to attract and retain the best."– Anne M. Mulcahy #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Joe, we appreciate your rhetoric, but come on man, most every abusive executive makes  similar platitudes.   Of course no one is going to bully in your presence.   Bullies are masters of deception.  I know, I coached with Jerry Sandusky.  Strong leaders implement effective anti-bullying policies to create healthy workplaces.   1.  They clearly define and publicize inappropriate and appropriate workplace behaviors, so everyone is clear and on the same page.  2.  They provide safe and credible processes for, and efficient responses to, employee maltreatment reports.   Employees trust their concerns will be addressed and are eager to identify, and to stomp out, abusive behaviors.  Employees also trust they won't be falsely targeted and accused.   3.  They address, correct, and prevent  demeaning and abusive behaviors. Toxic people and organizations can project altruistic appearances and statements, yet allow and encourage, ala predator Catholic priests, abuse to fester. 4.  They help

Bullying targets at work are not weak, timid, or spineless as often described by conniving managers. Bullying targets are often the best employees;  highly skilled, ethical, honest, and well-liked.   Their talents trigger a bully's fear of being exposed as an incompetent fraud. "The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already." - John Buchan #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct 

“After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.” ― Judith Lewis Herman “What we change inwardly will change outer reality.” – Plutarch #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

The following factors make global organizations vulnerable to workplace bullying; increased worker diversity, distant reporting relationships due to employee geographic dispersion, lack of experienced managers in new markets, and lack of managers with requisite, global, skills. "The better able team members are to engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret, and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it." Runde and Flanagan #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

  "Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings." - Eli Weisel #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 OVERCOMING By Augustus White III with Jon Land and David Chanaoff Post Hill Press; January 26, 2021 Hardcover: 224 pages; $28.00 ISBN-13 978-1642935486; ISBN-10 1642935484   Pre-orders Available at: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Lessons.../dp/1642935484   This year we grappled with, for one, pandemic related anxiety. It's an honor to be profiled in Dr. Augustus White III’s new book, OVERCOMING, about people who address adversity with positive impacts. Our stories show how, in apparent hopeless times, we too can #OVERCOME!   Male survivors may fear being discounted when disclosing trauma. Some keep it inside and feel shame and rage and cope destructively. Survivors who confront and share it can heal. Good people helped me #OVERCOME major traumas. You can too. You’re not alone. Healing is possible.

Bullying undermines retention, productivity, goodwill, morale, safety, and innovation. #LeadersArentBullies "Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work." --Warren Bennis #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

  OVERCOMING By Augustus White III with Jon Land and David Chanaoff Post Hill Press; January 26, 2021 Hardcover: 224 pages; $28.00 ISBN-13 978-1642935486; ISBN-10 1642935484 Preorder at: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Lessons-Triumphing-Adversity-Humanity/dp/1642935484

Male trauma survivors may fear being discounted when disclosing childhood abuse and loss.   We often keep it bottled up inside, feeling blame, guilt, shame, confusion, and rage at what  happened to us.  We may try to cope in destructive ways.  With licensed professionals, survivors can confront and share trauma to start the healing process and recover.  Healthy Counselors, Coaches, Teachers, and Teammates helped me #OVERCOME a rough childhood.   You can too.  It’s not your fault. You’re not alone.  Healing is possible. It’s never too late to heal.

  This year we grappled with many highs and lows including pandemic related anxiety. It’s an honor be profiled in Dr. Augustus White III’s soon to be released book, OVERCOMING.   It’s about everyday people who face and overcome adversity to make healthy and constructive impacts.   Dr. White is a fellow former Brown football player, and a renowned physician.   I respect him for compiling these stories showing how, in apparent hopeless times, we too can and shall #OVERCOME !

  "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." - William James "Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it." - Hans Selye #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 

 

Strong leaders establish anti-bullying policies to create healthy workplaces.  They offer earnest and expeditious responses to employee maltreatment. They address & correct demeaning behaviors. Toxic companies allow abuse to fester, and excuse bullying as a joke, and not illegal. "Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish." --Sam Walton #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

"We cannot change anything until we (acknowledge) it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." - Carl Jung #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

Circa 1928, my paternal grandfather's immediate family at their Kearney, NJ home.   Left to right; my great aunts Wanda and Agnes, my grandfather Alphonse, my great uncle Peter, and great grandparents, Julius and Nellie Paknis, Lithuanian Immigrants.   They represented the "greatest generation" by staying positive and compassionate while   transcending two great wars, the great depression, and losing my grandfather's eldest brother, Julius, to the 1918 Spanish Influenza.  

Federal and State support for Dignity at Work / Anti-Bullying Laws and Policies help employees identify, address, prevent, and transcend bullying.  These statutes influence whether workplace bullying targets may receive legal protection or take legal action.  #LeadersArentBullies "We want a free market, but we know that the paradox of a 'free' market is that sometimes you have to intervene. You have to make sure it's not the law of the jungle but the laws of democracy that works." - Margrethe Vestager  #healthyworkplaces #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Molière #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "Treat your (people) as you would your own beloved (children). And they will follow you into the deepest valley." -- Sun Tzu #leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct A supervisor’s emotional intelligence and approach to problems  can determine whether bullying is perceived as a workplace problem. #LeadersArentBullies

   Left to right, my paternal grandfather, great aunt, great grandfather, a Lithuanian immigrant, and great uncle admiring George Washington Bridge construction, circa 1928.  My grandfather was 15. 

"A lie has speed, but truth has endurance." ~Edgar J. Mohn #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 “There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi Picoult “Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” ― Paulo Coelho #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup Expectations affect stress. The bigger the gap between expectations & reality, the greater the stress.  Workers who experience steady and predictable management practices are less likely to consider themselves stressed or bullied.  #leadersarentbullies

Keys to Individual and Organizational Health: "Self-analysis requires reconsideration of who we think we are. Self-awareness requires us to reassess where we came from and where we are going." - Kilroy J. Oldster #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

 To fly right, geese work together. "To add value to others, one must first value others." --John Maxwell #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct Bullied and belittled employees expect to be abused by their bosses.   They don’t feel worthy of better treatment!  A bullying boss diminishes worker self-worth to control with power.  Healthy leaders elevate thought and conduct.  #LeadersArentBullies

"A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better." -Jim Rohn #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "We believe it’s most important to develop core values you can commit to, so you’re willing to hire and fire based on them. If you do this, then you’re well on your way to building a company culture that is in line with the brand you want to build." — Tony Hsieh #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Toxic workplace cultures are characterized by unclear and unaligned goals, roles, and processes.  There are no respectful engagement guidelines or boundaries.  Officials show little  commitment to employee growth and development.   Bullies are nurtured.  #leadersarentbullies 

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 "In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision." - Dalai Lama #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct Bullies in executive positions seek control by leveraging this perceived power gap in their favor.  Transparent communication with shared understanding of clear goals, roles, processes, and decision making authority can foil their ruse. #LeadersArentBullies

"How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words!" - Samuel Adams #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

In toxic workplaces, USA employee inalienable rites like life, liberty, the pursuit of #happiness...are discounted to bestow power and happiness on the few, misguided, bad folks in charge.  #LeadersArentBullies "The win-win outcome is America's fundamental business premise. Instead of wasting time trying to defeat one another, they find ways so everyone gains and goes home satisfied. In Israel, this doesn't work. Victory is only seeing your rival's body lying trampled." - Yair Lapid  

 

# leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct  

 When workers do not have concrete goals, roles, or processes, and, to control, bullying bosses create moving targets, to hold workers accountable for subjective and unrealistic results, tension, conflict and scapegoating run high and trust is lost. #LeadersArentBullies "The trouble with not having a clear  goal is that you can spend your (work) life running up and down the field and never score." –Bill Copeland #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

"In a high trust workplace, therefore, (a person)  can be creative and “innovate”, because (he / she has) more freedom and autonomy to experiment without the fear of retribution for failure." - friend since childhood, Ross Smith , in Trust Advisor Associates, Trust Matters Blog #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct