Thursday, March 4, 2021

Nelly


 

Transparency


 "Sweetie, if you're going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty." - Marilyn Monroe

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Watch your Words


 "Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble." -Yehuda Berg

#healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

People are more apt to listen, learn, and to improve performance when they receive constructive, tactful, and respectful #feedback.  Destructive and inconsiderate feedback undermines trust and performance.

#LeadersArentBullies

Healthy Relationships

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” -- Evan Esar

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Dialogue


"I remain convinced that most human conflicts can be solved through genuine dialogue conducted with a spirit of openness and reconciliation." - Dalai Lama

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup  #DignityAtWorkAct

Bosses who fail to offer immediate performance feedback tend to let issues fester.  They can create perceived catastrophe out of minor issues.  When they do share their feelings, they are apt to be irrational and emotional. #LeadersArentBullies

Schoolyard vs. Workplace Bullying

Schoolyard bullies fear being ostracized.  They target, and enlist others to abuse, peers who trigger the bully's fear of being viewed as different. 

Workplace bullies target decent and talented employees whose gifts trigger the bully's fear of being exposed as a fraud. 

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct



Saturday, February 27, 2021


 

Leaders Aren't Bullies, Podcast


Please find linked an interview with Michelle M. Horlbogen, the Gentlewomen Boss.  We discussed bullying and how my childhood and sports experiences influenced my thirty years of helping corporations around the globe  thrive with healthy leadership practices.  Thank you Michelle!

https://redcircle.com/shows/4415243f-5260-4c04-87af-c55ac3798d71/episodes/7cf90b3c-9289-438a-a930-b1730f43e867

Social Inclusion and Love

"The needs for safety, belonging, love relations and for respect can be satisfied only by people and considerable dependence on the environment." - Abraham H. Maslow

"We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun." - William Glasser

Social inclusion—belonging to a group—is a fundamental human need. When a bully directs coworkers to ostracize one or more of their own teammates, the team is ripped apart.  This is similar to cutting their collective soul. 


#LeadersArentBullies

Friday, February 26, 2021

Quiet and Fowl Neighbors


 

Address Abuse


 but, mediate only when parties have equal power levels, it's clear bullying was not perpetrated, and both parties are willing to build the relationship.

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

but, mediate only when parties have equal power levels, it's clear bullying was not perpetrated, and both parties are willing to build the relationship.

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Thursday, February 25, 2021


 

Shine a Light!


https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2021/02/25/john-geddert-gymnastics-human-trafficking/?wpmk=1&wpisrc=al_news__alert-sports--alert-national&utm_source=alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=wp_news_alert_revere&location=alert&pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJjb29raWVuYW1lIjoid3BfY3J0aWQiLCJpc3MiOiJDYXJ0YSIsImNvb2tpZXZhbHVlIjoiNTk3MjU5Y2I5YmJjMGYxY2RjZTI4ZmM0IiwidGFnIjoid3BfbmV3c19hbGVydF9yZXZlcmUiLCJ1cmwiOiJodHRwczovL3d3dy53YXNoaW5ndG9ucG9zdC5jb20vc3BvcnRzLzIwMjEvMDIvMjUvam9obi1nZWRkZXJ0LWd5bW5hc3RpY3MtaHVtYW4tdHJhZmZpY2tpbmcvP3dwbWs9MSZ3cGlzcmM9YWxfbmV3c19fYWxlcnQtc3BvcnRzLS1hbGVydC1uYXRpb25hbCZ1dG1fc291cmNlPWFsZXJ0JnV0bV9tZWRpdW09ZW1haWwmdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPXdwX25ld3NfYWxlcnRfcmV2ZXJlJmxvY2F0aW9uPWFsZXJ0In0.pRezWfjcy57lCIi2s-4Mbamy5s7HKfqgrWEsa0pPcSg

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Hate the Wrong


"A good leader must hate the wrong thing more than they hate the pain of doing the right thing." - Angela Jiang

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

A bullying boss is triggered by prosocial and positive workers. A bully may direct coworkers to isolate this target. A bully may keep co workers from helping the target on work-related tasks, or from fraternizing, even from taking breaks, with the target. #LeadersArentBullies

Healing


 "Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity." - Hippocrates

Just turned 59 and I hope to buck this trend.

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Your Spirit


 "Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons." - Denzel Washington

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Unhealthy groups tend to expel sincere members whose  generosity, kindness, and concern for others' well-being  exceeds their own. The group attacks altruists because, by comparison, greedy and selfish members can’t identify or compete with good folks.

#LeadersArentBullies

Monday, February 22, 2021

Retain Talent

"People leave managers, not companies." - Marcus Buckingham

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Power Corrupts


 "Power corrupts, and when you're in charge, you start doing things that you think are right, but they're actually not." - George Lucas

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

People tend to assume managers who graduated from prestigious business schools are not going to exploit or bully vulnerable workers.  This is naive, shortsighted, and dangerous.

#LeadersArentBullies

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Toughness

"Great leaders don't need to act tough. Their confidence and humility serve to underscore their toughness." - Simon Sinek

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Respectful Dialogue


Atlantic Ocean beyond the dunes, Race Point

Why are managers not prepared? Why are they incompetent to deal with bullies? The fact is relatively few businesses and management schools teach about power and control dynamics.

"Predators never expect to be hunted." - Kit Rose

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Stand Up


 "To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest." - Flora Jessop

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Protect


A bully who uses employer-owned technology to  discriminatory messages violates the rights of employees who identify with protected classes of people. Victims may file complaints against employers who fail to protect their employees from cyber bullying discrimination.

And corporate executives and boards are often held liable for their employees' abusive and discriminatory actions, conducted in the company and on company equipment.

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Elevate

Leaders elevate, bullies deflate.

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Monday, February 15, 2021

Boundaries


 A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. 

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

In many organizations, workers complained of being held “captive” or leashed" by bullying bosses who use company-issued cell phones to contact subordinates whenever desired. This technology allows bullies to invade and violate  target  / victim boundaries outside of work.

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Competence


 "Basically, to lead without a title is to derive your power within the organisation not from your position but from your competence, effectiveness, relationships, excellence, innovation and ethics." - Robin S. Sharma

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Protest Abuse

"To sin by silence, when we should protest, makes cowards out of (all).

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

#healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

#Cyberbullying has become a significant problem in the past decade. The ubiquity of handheld and other devices affords bullies anytime access to their prey, and harassment can often be carried out anonymously.

#LeadersArentBullies

Friday, February 12, 2021

Self Critique First

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger." - Epictetus

"An offended heart is the breeding ground of deception." - John Bevere

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Protect Boundaries


 "Executives get what they create, or what they allow." - Henry Cloud

#leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

A "group think" mentality, or what can be called a “mobbing,” arises when workers sense protection and security from a boss who sends subliminal and overt messages conveying workers are safe if they don’t protect the target or rat on the boss’s bullying. #LeadersArentBullies

Compassion Shows Courage


 "To be cruel is to be coward." - Lailah Gifty Akita

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Overcoming, Released Today

 It’s an honor to be profiled in Dr. Augustus White III’s book, OVERCOMING, being released today.

It’s about everyday people who face and overcome adversity to make healthy and constructive impacts. This year we grappled with many highs and lows. It's hoped this book can help readers navigate their value.

Dr. White is a fellow former Brown football player, and a renowned physician. I respect him for compiling these stories showing how, in apparent hopeless times, we too can and shall #OVERCOME!

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Lessons-Triumphing-Adversity-Humanity/dp/1642935484#immersive-view_1612882763011

Talents


 "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" - Benjamin Franklin

#stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct
#DignityAtWorkAct

Workplace bullying is often rooted in the bully’s fears of being exposed as inadequate. Any colleague who, with their natural talents, unwittingly threatens to expose a bully’s incompetence or insecurities is a potential target.

#LeadersArentBullies

Monday, February 8, 2021

Self Awareness


“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Shine Your Light


 “Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” Maya Angelou

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethough5thtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Workplace bullies tend to target decent people simply because of their “talents.” These targets don’t do anything to attract or to justify #bullying. Targets do most things right.  This, of course, triggers a bully's jealousy and fear of being seen as incompetent in comparison.

Hope and Freedom

"I am confident that if we stand for the hope and freedom of others we will make our own freedom more secure." - Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Fear vs. Understanding


 A schoolyard bully picks on people who seem "different".  They are targeted because the bully fears being ostracized, too. Attacking makes a bully feel superior and in control.  A workplace bully targets talented employees who trigger the bully's fear of appearing incompetent.

"Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate." - Edward Albert

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Accept Accountability


 "You will never get the truth out of a narcissist (or bully). The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain. -Shannon l. Alder

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Value


 29% of those 24 years & younger reported being bullied at work. Workers aged 50 and older reported the same frequency. Experts suggest bullies perceive both age groups are vulnerable. Younger people are inexperienced and older workers are expendable in a youth obsessed society.

"Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art." - Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

#leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct
#DignityAtWorkAct

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

See Something, Say Something


 Yet only 23% of these witnesses report harassment, discrimination, or bullying at work.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King

#stepup #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #DignityAtWorkAct  #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

Monday, February 1, 2021

Overt vs. Covert Bullying

 
Overt vs. Covert Bullying

Bullying is not limited to a political party, gender, race, religion, or class of people.
 
Trump has an overt bullying style. It got him what he wanted in business, but failed in politics. I've witnessed and experienced organizational executives and officials, on both sides of the aisle, demonstrate these tactics for over 30 years, and it was almost never challenged or protested. Bystanders facilitated its continuance.
 
In many organizations I've also seen people, on both sides of the aisle, use covert bullying tactics to get what they want. They claim to being doing good while carrying out vile and evil behaviors for selfish gains.
 
We are only as strong as our weakest members of society. Until we acknowledge we are of one body, and commit to helping strengthen the most vulnerable, selfish officials will continue to divide for their own gain.
 
Multiple sum outcomes, where everyone is elevated and improves around a common cause, is what my football playing and coaching experiences taught. Zero sum outcomes, where one person or group gets ahead at the expense of another, is what I saw practiced at institutions claiming to be expansive in their values and beliefs.
 
It's time to focus on what we have in common, and to agree on who needs help, and to ignore the hate.

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Break the Silence


 Workplace bullies often target introverts. They are typically excellent listeners and deep thinkers who focus on their assignments.  

Introverts are less apt to get involved in office politics. Their thoughtfulness keeps them from reacting to bullies with quick retorts. 

#stepup

"We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Honesty


 "It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. It is better to speak the truth that hurts and then heals, than falsehood that comforts and then kills." - Adrian Rogers

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Friday, January 29, 2021

Strength in Kindness

Bullies misjudge their targets.  Bullies equate niceness as weakness.  Bullies over respond and go for the kill.  Sincere and unsuspecting targets are caught off guard by a bully’s attacks.  They can't relate to a bully's fear and wonder, "why me?" 

#LeadersArentBullies

"There's nothing so kingly as kindness, and nothing so royal as truth." - Alice Cary

#healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct
#DignityAtWorkAct
 

Acknowledge

You can't heal what you don't acknowledge."
- Jack Canfield

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

 

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Truth


Workplace bullying targets are typically honest, ethical, and pro-social. They see their jobs as a way to demonstrate their core  values, and as more than just a means to earning a paycheck.  This earnestness triggers a bully. 

#LeadersArentBullies #workplaceculture

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

- George Washington

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away." - Elvis Presley 

#healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Respond with Choice


"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Monday, January 25, 2021

Bullies and Cowards Can't Love


Bullies often target someone who is strong, who acts and thinks independently, and refuses to kowtow.  Targets are often veteran workers who are highly skilled, and well-liked and pose a threat to the incompetent bully. 

#LeadersArentBullies

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." - Mahatma Gandhi

#healthyworkplaces #stepup #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct

The Most Valuable Asset


"Employees are a company’s greatest asset – they’re your competitive advantage. You want to attract and retain the best."– Anne M. Mulcahy

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Joe, nice platitudes, But Come on Man!


Joe, we appreciate your rhetoric, but come on man, most every abusive executive makes  similar platitudes.  

Of course no one is going to bully in your presence.   Bullies are masters of deception.  I know, I coached with Jerry Sandusky. 

Strong leaders implement effective anti-bullying policies to create healthy workplaces.  

1.  They clearly define and publicize inappropriate and appropriate workplace behaviors, so everyone is clear and on the same page. 

2.  They provide safe and credible processes for, and efficient responses to, employee maltreatment reports.  

Employees trust their concerns will be addressed and are eager to identify, and to stomp out, abusive behaviors.  Employees also trust they won't be falsely targeted and accused.  

3.  They address, correct, and prevent  demeaning and abusive behaviors. Toxic people and organizations can project altruistic appearances and statements, yet allow and encourage, ala predator Catholic priests, abuse to fester.

4.  They help their organizations transcend horrific behaviors with healthy modeling and thriving values, beliefs, and behaviors impacting focus, structure, people orientation, and leadership.  

Appreciate your words.  Let's see some healthy  actions.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OXPTcvJ_TX4&feature=youtu.be

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Elicit and Embrace Greatness


Bullying targets at work are not weak, timid, or spineless as often described by conniving managers. Bullying targets are often the best employees;  highly skilled, ethical, honest, and well-liked.  

Their talents trigger a bully's fear of being exposed as an incompetent fraud.

"The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already." - John Buchan

#leadersarentbullies #stepup #healthyworkplaces
#leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #DignityAtWorkAct 

Transcend Trauma

“After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.” ― Judith Lewis Herman

“What we change inwardly will change outer reality.” – Plutarch

#leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #stepup #DignityAtWorkAct