Matt Paknis Leadership Development

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly." - Jim Rohn "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” - John Quincy Adams #fair #honest #competent #inspire #foresight  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychological #justice

"A (bully) won’t apologize. They twist the story until a target says sorry for reacting to abusive behavior. Apologies require accountability, reflection, and humility; good qualities narcissists cannot process. Admitting fault threatens their fragile self-image. Rather than take responsibility, they change the narrative." - Elizabeth Shaw #selfcriticism #honesty #selfless #considerate #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

"Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. Everyone accused of a crime deserves a fair trial." - John Garamendi "Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom - and no such thing as public liberty without freedom of speech." - Benjamin Franklin #constitutionalrights #FairTrial #FreeSpeech #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

NDAs used to hide bad behaviors, like shooting threats or abusive / harassing conduct, are unconstitutional.   "One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Get in good trouble, necessary trouble." - John Lewis #SpeakUp  #ExposeTruth #love #protect #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #justice #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #freedom In America, where workers’ inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are protected by the US Constitution, individuals should never allow themselves—or be allowed by liable organizational leaders—to be victimized by a bullying and abusive boss or employee.

"The safety of the people shall be the highest law." - Marcus Tullius Cicero "Safety should never be a priority. It should be a precondition." - Paul O'Neill "It takes leadership to improve safety." - Jackie Stewart "A strong leader accepts blame and gives the credit." - John Wooden #brownuniversity #safety #protection #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #justice   #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #freedom

In 2018, when my book was released, WBI research showed only 13% of bystanders intervened or reported workplace bullying and abuse, most often due to a lack of skills, fear of reprisal, or expecting others to step up.  2025 research shows 80% of bystanders now intervene. Research shows 100% of those holding respective executive positions were aware of, yet kept secret, the abuse prior to the intervention. #normalizeintervention #empoweraction #providetools

 

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Justice is truth in action." -  Benjamin Disraeli  "If you want peace work for justice. It's linked to Grace and a shared human duty to uplift the oppressed and create true peace. - Timothy Keller "Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression." - Isaiah 1:17 #justice #grace #truth #independence #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #Freedom

"Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work." - Ralph Marston "The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." - Stephen Covey "Become not a person of success, but of value." - Albert Einstein #balance #Renew #body #mind #spirit #value #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice Humans are happy, energetic, and productive when their lives are balanced. Life balance allows people to maintain perspective, values, and important relationships. It also fosters self awareness and empathy.  These are critical contra-bullying traits.

"Without character, leaders have no safety. Leadership has no protection without character." - Myles Munroe "Confidence... thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live." - FDR #character #safety #protection #unselfish #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #honesty #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #sacred

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson "Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness." - Khalil Gibran "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” - Jesus Christ, John 8:32 #truth #honesty #wisdom #kindness #freedom #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

Great mentors and coaches exude—and infuse others with—positive energy. They achieve their results while building healthy relationships through ethical, legal, and appropriate processes. #LeadersArentBullies In "Overcoming the Odds," the author identifies  having a mentor as one factor, of three, key to fostering resilient children.  I was fortunate to find this amongst decent teammates, Coaches, and friends, like those pictured above at Brown in 1983.   #resiliency #mentor #energy #uplift #healthyworkplaces #overcome  #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller “It’s when we start working together that the real healing takes place.” – David Hume “Healing yourself is connected with healing others.” – Yoko Ono “Nothing can really fully bring closure to the lives that have been shattered over the past week, but this may allow our community to move forward and begin a path of repair and recovery and healing." - Christina Paxson #overcome #together #healing #Recovery #love

"You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop." - Chad Foster #peace #love #heal #rebuild #strength

This can also relate to a toxic society. "A leader's actions set the tone for the entire organization." - John Wooden "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." - Winston Churchill Suggestions: Boundaries: "Establish boundaries" and "Reduce your interactions with toxic people" to protect your sanity. Mindset: "Check your mindset," see challenges as opportunities, and use your values as a compass. Support: "Find allies," build a support system outside work, and "Seek social support." Action: "Opportunities don't happen, you create them." (Chris Grosser). Focus on what you can control and "Don't be afraid to walk away." (Ivy Exec) #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethougtandconduct #peace  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

Brown students were shot and killed where I: learned, laughed, stressed, met friends and a great professor, TA'd 2 courses and a lab, was/and mentored/tutored, guest lectured, guided tours, offered programs, met clients, built a business, wrote a book,  graded finals, and met, and redirected, a student walking to the roof to jump.   Does one selfish shooting act negate these?  NO!   Yesterday I was numb.   Today I am angry.   Tomorrow I will explore obstacles to a safe and just society and commit to removing them. #Faith #Hope #Love

People who transcend  #hate , #grief , #fear , #injustice , #lies , learn to stay grounded as mature, rational, objective, and realistic adults, impervious to threats and triggers and capable of #love ." #positive #light #good

"The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on." - Robert F. Kennedy #community #peace #Neighborly #comfort #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

"If you first take care of your employees, they will take care of your clients." – Richard Branson “When management is concerned with a whole person – not just an employee –  they are more productive, more satisfied, more fulfilled." - Anne Mulcahy "A strong company culture helps recruit talent, retain talent and drive strong results." – Gary Vaynerchuk  #care #concern #retention #satisfaction #win #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #gratitude

"Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit (or harming individuals) without having individual accountability." - Ambrose Bierce "When corporations replace a sense of service and gratitude with entitlement and expectation,  we see the demise of our relationships, society, and economy." - Steve Maraboli #service #gratitude #accountability society leadersarentbullies healthyworkplaces leaderselevatethoughtandconduct truth psychologicalsafetyatworkact justice 

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty, —that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." - John Keats  "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan "Facts are many, but the truth is one." - Rabindranath Tagore  #truth #facts #observations #beauty #safety  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice  When responding to a bullying incident, seek the truth. Focus on observations and facts. Cite specific comments and behaviors. Avoid jumping to conclusions or being hijacked by emotions.

"The obstacles to peace are in the minds and hearts of (people)." - Norman Angell "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." – Ralph Waldo Emerson "Justice removes the obstacles to peace." — Thomas Aquinas #peace #justice #calm #strength #startup #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The constant physiological stress response often leads to a wide range of immediate and long-term physical health problems." - Walter Cannon "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." — Rumi  "Unlike trauma, healing is about creating change you do choose." — Michelle Rosenthal  #health #light #choice #healing #strength #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth   #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #peace

Facts:  Seven years ago this week, on December 12, 2018, Toray filed this action against me for breach of contract, unjust enrichment, and defamation. https://ecf.rid.uscourts.gov/cgi-bin/show_public_doc?2018cv0672-49 On March 20, 2023, more than 51 months after filing, Toray Plastics American, N.A. voluntarily dismissed all claims with prejudice against me.  I did not sign any settlement agreement or pay any money to Toray in consideration for the dismissal. https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/8398878/toray-plastics-america-inc-v-paknis/ The lawsuit interrupted the international momentum and sales of a good book, Successful Leaders Aren't Bullies, written to help readers identify, respond to, stop, prevent, and transcend abuse and bullying. 

"A lawsuit can be a weapon." - Bari Weiss "True freedom requires the rule of law and justice, and a judicial system in which the rights of some are not secured by the denial of rights to others." - Jonathan Sacks #Justice #rights #freedom   #equality #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine" - Ralph Waldo Emerson. "If you hold yourself dear, protect yourself well" - Buddha "There is not a crime, not a dodge, not a trick, not a swindle, there is not a vice not given life by secrecy." – Joseph Pulitzer #protection #truth #selfdefense #exposure  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #peace  Seek counsel from any safe managers if your boss is targeting you. Common in abusive organizations are: 1. Executives who know, & 2. Incompetent frauds who fear talent and bully it. Document and record (where legal). Share facts with a good labor lawyer. Find a healthy workplace.

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society." - Vince Lombardi "We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now." - Martin Luther King, Jr "Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." - Helen Keller  "Each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team." - Bud Wilkinson #teamwork #Community #sacrifice #want #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light." - George Washington "Man's goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished." - Nelson Mandela “It always seems impossible until it's done.” - Nelson Mandela #truth #goodness #justice #keepgoing #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #Freedom  

"Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power." - Benito Mussolini "The collusion of big business, big labor, and big government threaten the spirit of small business that makes America great." - Foster Friess #freedom #independence #justice #separation #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace   #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The real voyage of discovery consists of having new eyes, not new landscapes." - Marcel Proust "Truths, once discovered, are easy to understand; the point is to discover them." - Aristotle  "The greatest gift you can give someone is  your pure attention." - Richard Moss #hear #discovery #openmind #listen #truth #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice Understand, respect, and explore all worker complaints and perspectives. Try to get the full story/picture, the facts, and the truth.

"United we stand, by dividing we fall." - John Dickinson "One race, Many cultures, One place." - Geoffrey M. Gluckman "Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success." - Benjamin Franklin #unity #strength #OneNation #teamwork #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth   #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #peace

"When your brain is flooded with too much stress, it can shut down your thinking and decision-making skills, making it hard to respond to a situation in a logical way." - Dr. Aditi Nerurkar "It's like having your worst nightmare that you always try to block out come to the forefront of your mind and you're forced to re-live it." - Jonathan "Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That's why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people" - Ryan North "Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory." - Bessel van der Kolk #stressrelief #trauma #healing #together #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #peace

“Truth is generally the best vindication against slander.” - Abraham Lincoln "The wheels of justice turn slowly, but grind exceedingly fine."-  Proverb "The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice." - Martin Luther King Jr. #truth #vindication #justice #grind #grit #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #transparency

Document and record to, if possible, objectify notable worker behaviors and performance outcomes. This prevents workers from feeling  performance assessments are biased. Without objective metrics, it's difficult to silence suspicions of nepotism, favoritism, and retaliation. #facts #transparency #Credible  #Metrics  #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #Justice  "You are entitled to your own opinion, not to your own facts." - Daniel Moynihan "Without facts, you can't have truth." - Maria Ressa "A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity." — Dalai Lama "Truth never damages a just cause." — Mahatma Gandhi

 

"A mistake repeated more than once is a choice." - Paulo Coelho "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy "The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones." - Jerome Hines "It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them." - Benjamin Franklin #Change #culture #habits #Rewards #results #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth  

“It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky "Ten percent of life is what happens to you. Ninety percent is how you respond to it." - Jalen Hurts "Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply." - Stephen Covey #Peace #response #listen #maturity #control #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"A lot of the problems in the world come about because people talk about each other instead of to each other." — Ronald Reagan "Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us." — John F. Kennedy #collaboration #unity   #solutions #peace #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The people who are bullying you, they're insecure about who they are, and that's why they're bullying you." - Mitt Romney "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." - Jesus, Matthew 7:12 "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -  Albert Einstein #identity #security #bekind #opportunity #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth   #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice  

A violation of constitutional rights is the act of a government official, acting under "color of law," who willfully deprives a person of a right or privilege protected by the Constitution. Toray and a colluding RI Federal Judiciary violated my rights to free speech and to a fair trial. "A right delayed is a right denied." - Martin Luther King Jr. 's "The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened." - John F. Kennedy #justice #rights #freedom #speech #trial #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

Subjects who described receiving constructive improvement performance feedback from managers who do not bully state they use the feedback to do their best and to make improvements. #feedback #Excel #refine #succeed #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth  "Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Ken Blanchard "We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve." - Bill Gates "There is no failure. Only feedback." - Robert Allen

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." – Abraham Lincoln “If we do not want to die together in war, we must learn to live together in peace.”-  Harry S. Truman "If (people) were angels, no government would be necessary." – James Madison #peace #together #angels #government #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplace #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The truth is the light and the light is the truth." - Ralph Ellison "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen "Education is the movement from darkness to light." - Allan Bloom #truth #light #education #motivation #energy #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplace #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice  

"Corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow." - Abraham Lincoln “Impunity becomes the very foundation upon which systems of corruption are built.“ - Rigoberta Menchú "The fight for justice against corruption is never easy. The price we pay is well worth holding on to our dignity." - Frank Serpico  #corruption #fighter #justice #dignity  #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplace #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth" - Henry David Thoreau "Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves" - Walter Anderson. #truth #honesty #Risk #Growth #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplace #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #integrity Honest performance feedback is necessary to learn and to grow into and with a job....When feedback is given without petty berating and irrational attacks and is based on observable and agreeable facts; workers are more apt to strive for excellence.

"Leadership is not merely a position of authority, but a moral responsibility to inspire, guide, and empower others with integrity and empathy." - Caneel Joyce "Search others for their virtues, thy self for thy vices." - Benjamin Franklin #moral #inspire #empower #integrity #virtue #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplace #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates "To change a culture, the leaders have to change the messages people receive about what they must do to fit in." - Fred Kofman "Change your thoughts and you change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale #change #thoughts #actions #rewards #Build #leadersarentbullies #choices #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #energy

"Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. Everyone accused of a crime deserves a fair trial." - John Garamendi "If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." - George Washington

"There are bad owners (managers). A dog treated badly, shown no love, will act this way. Shown kindness and hope, they're fine, just like people." - Cesar Millan "Humans are free to choose their response in any given set of circumstances, to choose their way." - Viktor E. Frankl #choices #response #kindness #hope #love #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #truth   Bullying policies, like leash laws, must apply to all dogs or everyone from the board of executives to a chief executive to field and front-line staff, and from directors to team leaders.