Matt Paknis Leadership Development

20 years ago this week Linda and I were married. A dubious omen followed. I lost my wedding ring on our honeymoon. We walked to a secluded beach, spread our blanket, and enjoyed each others' company. It was sunny and hot. The ocean was crystal clear, cool, and inviting. The ring fit loose on my finger. I was afraid it might slip off during a swim. It went into my shorts' pocket. It was wrapped and placed safely on the blanket. Not accustomed to wearing my wedding ring, I forgot about it until we reached the parking lot, about a half mile from where we spent these relaxing few hours. We walked back along the low tide line. Soon after, the ocean covered our trail. My heart dropped. My fingers felt no ring in my pocket. My hands rifled through my other pockets. Nothing. Linda looked at me with concern. I was flustered and irate with myself. She was an angel, and is still. She said: "Don't worry, our jeweler can make a duplicate". I was depleted, but a voice...

It was beautiful Sunday morning in New England. At six am, Milo woke me for his walk. We then headed east on route 6 towards Cape Cod to get the newspaper. Returning on the same route moments later, a woman was standing in the middle of the road, staring at a huge lump in my lane. From my distance, I guessed it was a large dog, fox, or worse, a person. My sense was it was still alive and this is what moved the woman from her car. I stopped, pressed on the emergency lights, and rolled down my window. She approached my car and asked me to help. She was frazzled and on her way to work when she saw the lump. I approached and was amazed. At first, I thought it was a young sea turtle. Every year, my family and I wait in moonlight on Melbourne Beach, Florida shores to watch 1500 pound Leather-back, Green, and Loggerhead turtles propel themselves with their flippers, and coded DNA, up the beach to dig massive holes to lay over 120 eggs. They cover the holes and lunge back to sea. They...

Survivors: This is to benefit victims and survivors; those who are suffering at the hands of organizational members; be they priests, traders, consultants, or accountants, whose deceptive behaviors and incompetent leaders - like fish stinking from their heads, fostered abuse and deceit, self serving protection and power, greed, and quick or disturbed gains over ethical, good, and honest decisions. Successful survivors follow Four Steps to overcome abuse and fraud. 1. Successful survivors reveal the truth to trained professionals. They share all their related secrets and shed light on the perpetration. Victims often falsely believe the abusive and deleterious behaviors committed against them are somehow their fault. This relates to people who are molested and to people who are duped by phony, and contrived, investment vehicles. Blame always belongs to the instigator / perpetrator. The only way to melt erroneous compartments and their related power and control dynamics is to share...

Did you ever have a boss who only made her presence felt when something went wrong? Seeing her walk towards me down the aisle made me think to myself, with dread: "damn, what did I do now?" If a person is only told his faults, he has to learn twice; once to unlearn the wrong thing and once to learn the right way. As a coach, leader, or manager, it's constructive, and productive, to have a positive association with your people. Imagine if every time I saw this manager I thought to myself, "wow, I wonder what I did right?!" Brown's Professor Barrett Hazeltine practiced this with passion. If someone shared something insightful in class, he'd race across the auditorium and shake the student's hand, stating: "that's really good", or "wow, you're really smart", in a caring and sincere manner. The student beamed. In my professional career, associate Joe McCarthy was adept at telling people the specific, wonderful, pieces of th...

Great stories question expectations and appearances. Below please find my 2010 top ten unexpected, and rewarding, moments. 10. "Did you hear that?" On a recent trip to our old neighborhood's market, I saw the mother of a student from Lilli's preschool class. I asked: "excuse me, do you have a son who attended "Child's Play"? Shocked, she turned and responded: "well yes, about twelve years ago. How do you remember?" Not sure she'd appreciate my honest response, I offered it in Holiday Spirit. During their class reading time in 1997, my daughter Lilli sat on my lap and her son asked if he could join us. He made funny faces and expressions to support the story line and checked my response. He leaned close and asked in hushed tones, "did you hear that?" I asked "what?" Again, he asked: "did you hear that?" I responded: "what?" His excitement and approval seeking showed he hoped for the ...

Everyday, it seems, the media exposes a famous person's character flaws leading to the demise of vaulted athletes, politicians, executives, clergy, physicians, attorneys, and educators. Outside of athletes, people in these positions are expected, and selected based on their abilities, to be trustworthy. We expect their expertise to protect vulnerable clients and constituents. Are you ready for some good news? In March 2008 my family faced great uncertainty regarding our seven year old son's thigh bone being cut, reset to reposition the femur's end in his hip socket, and then his being set in a body cast for more than three months. We were vulnerable. Enter HASBRO (http://www.hasbro.com/). A week prior to Noah's surgery, Hasbro invited Noah for a tour of its Star Wars design facilities in Pawtucket, RI. Noah met with the Star Wars design team and talked about Star Wars and Indiana Jones with their chief designer. He and Noah hit it off and I saw why this man is c...

In "Overcoming the Odds" , Emma Werner and Ruth Smith share their research of Kauai's indigenous children determining resiliency factors influencing a Kauai child's capacity to transcend a population rife with excessive rates of alcoholism, poverty, and suicide. Their thirty year study identified three factors influencing a child's capacity to overcome significant obstacles to become happy, fulfilled adults. The factors are not interdependent. Please find them listed below. 1. A child is more likely to overcome obstacles if no siblings are born within two years of his or her birth. Receiving focused nurturing and care in the first two years of one's life has a strong impact on one's ability to handle setbacks. This translates to primates where chimps' normal gestation cycles are five years. When a chimp's sibling is born within this five year period, the older chimp usually fails to reach adulthood. Werner and Smith also learned 2. children...