Matt Paknis Leadership Development

“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt “Emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership.” -- Daniel Goleman “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” -- James 1:19 #emotions #SelfAwareness #relationships #listen #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #respond #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #2ears1mouth

  Toray Plastics used The RI Federal Justice System to bully me with a frivolous lawsuit. They ultimately dismissed, with prejudice, and paid all my fees. I signed nothing. The book stayed the same.  It took 8 years and caused great damage.   "Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. Everyone accused of a crime deserves a fair trial." - John Garamendi "Any restriction of freedom of speech is a restriction upon democracy." - Deeyah Khan #FairTrial #FreeSpeech #dismissed #justice #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #liberty #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #freedom

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” -- Albert Einstein “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy.” - Nelson Mandela  #peace #understanding #dialogue #work #desire #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #freedom #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #collective

 

“My self-worth is not linked to your cruel words and actions... You have no power over me.” — Marina Cohen “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” – Desmond Tutu “Bullies are cowards, and if you stand up to them, they back away.” -- Robert P. Georg #power #justice #intervene #courage #standup #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #protect #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #maturity

"Nothing ranks higher than judicial independence. Without it, the trial is a sham, the judgment a pretense, and the law a weapon." — Lord Denning "In our system, money talks, and big money talks loudly. The judiciary ceases to be an independent branch and becomes a subsidiary of corporate interests."— Sheldon Whitehouse #FairTrial #justice #independence #integrity #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #honor #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #character

"The most prevalent problem was the failure of the leadership to protect the children. It was a failure of the leadership to act, a failure to report, a failure to intervene."— Louis Freeh (PSU) "Institutions have a natural tendency to protect themselves, and when they do, the first casualty is often the truth."— Spotlight (Boston Diocese) "The BSA’s primary response to reports of sexual abuse was to protect the organization’s reputation and assets, rather than to protect the youth in its care."— BSA perversion files "Silencing the victim is the ultimate act of complicity. It transforms an isolated crime into an institutional policy."— Dr. Janja Lalich "The culture of secrecy that surrounded these schools allowed abusers to operate with impunity, while victims were left with the crushing burden of forced silence."— IICSA (Private Schools) "We were told to keep it quiet for the good of the church, for the good of the community, for ...

"Honesty is the best policy..... I walk on untrodden ground. There is scarcely any part of my conduct, which may not hereafter be drawn into precedent.... The freedom of Speech may be taken away, and dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep, to the slaughter." - George Washington #Honesty #rolemodel #freedom #speech #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #liberty #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #dignity

“Systems of oppression (racism, sexual abuse, war, domestic violence) are ways of maintaining power for certain people at the expense of others.” - Alicia Garza "You survive when you don't repeat the cycle, but you thrive when you create a new legacy and trajectory." - Nedra Glover Tawwab “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” - Carl Jung #power #uplift #choose #liberty #thrive #build #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #truth #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #freedom #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice

“The predator wants your silence. It feeds their power, entitlement AND they want it to feed your shame....To the predators... Weinstein, etc... I say to you, 'You can choose your sin but you don't get to choose the consequences.' To the victims... I see you. I believe you... and I'm listening." - Viola Davis "Giraffes are completely tranquil - they have no predators as adults because there's not an animal in the jungle stupid enough to go for them. - Joanna Lumley #power #consequence #tranquility #Intervene #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #justice #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #poise  Bullying is a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies learn early it can get them what they want if no one intervenes and calls them out. Respond, report, and normalize stopping abuse by not giving it tacit approval, but with strong resistance in numbers and protocol.

 

"Civilisation will not last, freedom will not survive, peace will not be kept, unless a very large majority of mankind unite together to defend them... There will remain the greater task of directing knowledge lastingly towards the purpose of peace and human good." - Winston Churchill #civilization #freedom #peace #unite #goodness #leadersarentbullies ##healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #liberty #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #dignity

Had a little extra lifting (50-60 lbs.) on the way home from the gym today.  Helped a massive snapper momma cross a street and gain access to a fenced in pond to lay her eggs.  Always lift them by the tail.  My 2nd snapper rescue.  The other weighed between 70 and 80 pounds!  It's a calling!

"There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise." – Mary Kay Ash "People work for money, but go the extra mile for recognition, praise, and rewards." – Dale Carnegie #retention #recognition #challenge #money #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #praise #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #rewards  8% leave for more challenging work.  7% leave for more money, but if they feel recognized, respected, empowered, and challenged, they will only leave for a significant, 20-30% or more, pay increase.  Satisfied employees stay.

"We are in an era of very aggressive corporate litigation to expand the constitutional prerogatives of business." - Kent Greenfield "Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom - and no such thing as public liberty without freedom of speech." - Benjamin Franklin "Every institution, including the judiciary, has its share of black sheep and corrupt judges." – Prashant Bhushan #truth #rights #constitution #freedom #liberty #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #HONOR #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #justice #8years

“Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” - Martin Luther King, Jr. “True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.” - Nelson Mandela  “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” - Desmond Tutu #peace #sport #talent #teamwork #respect #healthyworkplaces #leadersarentbullies #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #Grace #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #character  “Aggression can be the wrong way to use and to obtain power. There are collaborative, respectful, multi-sum, demanding, co-equal, assertive, and wonderful ways to be leaders without being aggressive,” says Debra Pepler, Ph.D.

  "I Have A Dream.... little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers," - Martin Luther King, Jr. "Almost always, the oppressed, instead of striving for collective liberation, tend themselves to become oppressors, or 'sub-oppressors.'" - Paulo Freire "Sports can create hope, where there was only despair. It is more powerful than governments in breaking down racial barriers. It laughs in the face of all kinds of discrimination." - Kofi Annan #join #liberty #hope #sport #unify #play #love #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #talent #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #Respect

The root cause of workplace bullying is the bully's great fear of being exposed as an incompetent fraud. Talented people often trigger incompetent and insecure employees who are in over their heads / bad fits / bad hires. "The cure for workplace bullying and the imposter syndrome is not more self-esteem. It’s competence."— Anonymous #competence #confidence #PeterPrinciple #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #talent #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #selfawareness

 

"A great person is always willing to be little." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Insecurity is loud. Confidence is quiet. True leadership is calm, steady, and secure in its purpose." — Unknown "Do not let other's behavior destroy your inner peace." — Dalai Lama #greatness #confidence #calm #steady #secure #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace ##psychologicalsafetyatworkact #maturity  Bullies target gifted and decent people whose talent and goodness infuriates the bully. A bully's greatest fear is being seen in comparison as an incompetent fraud. Bullies loathe, and are frustrated with, themselves. They attack people who trigger this fear and self hate.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." — Thomas Jefferson  "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." — Alice Walker "Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding." — Albert Einstein #liberty #power #peace #freedom #beacon #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #hope #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #NeverGiveUp

Toray's frivolous lawsuit against me was based in revenge.  They shopped friendly judges who conspired with Toray's false claims to bully me.   "Revenge involves taking the law into your own hands. Justice is the opposite of revenge. Justice means handing over your cause to an impartial tribunal..." — Lord Jonathan Sacks #justice #truth #impartial #honorable #character #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #life #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #liberty #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #happiness

“A bully's cruelty is not a show of power — it's proof of emptiness.” — Unknown "No one is born hating another person. People must learn to hate..." - Nelson Mandela #perceptions #observations #opinions #facts #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #truth #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #justice  A bully’s mental models, perceptions, criticisms, and insecurities can foster fear for, and prejudice against, for example, people of different races, religions, or sexual orientations. Leaders are comfortable in their own skin. They aren't threatened, and rise above with facts.

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell  Thank you Joe!  Love the pic! #friend #mentor #coach #leader #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct

The root cause of workplace bullying is driven by a bully's greatest fear; being exposed as an incompetent fraud.  Talented employees trigger this fear. "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. They are the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." – Ronald Reagan" "None of us, alone, does great things. All of us, together, can do great things." – Mother Teresa #elevate #talent #greatness #others #together #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #inspire #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #uplift

 

"Judge shopping is where litigants exploit quirks in the structure of the federal judiciary to hand-pick judges who are sympathetic to their ideological goals... [It] involves strategic filing in courts with few available judges." — The Brennan Center for Justice "When public men deny others a fair trial then our democratic society is outraged, and democracy is baffled." - J. William Fulbright #FairTrial #justice #liberty #truth #honor #dignity #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #democracy #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #NeverGiveUp

“People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” - Theodore Roosevelt "Only a tiny percentage of surivors choose to abuse, yet almost all perps and predators were abused.  Hurting others is ultimately a choice." A person’s capacity to be aware of others’ feelings and the ability to manage these feelings, allow people with emotional intelligence to manage healthy relationships. Bullies don’t care about others’ feelings. Bullying bosses, like pedophiles and psychopaths, lack empathy. #LeadersArentBullies

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." - Ronald Reagan "If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." - George Washington #freedom #FreeSpeech #FairTrial #democracy #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #liberty #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #speakout

"All cruelty springs from weakness." — Seneca "The malignant egoist is like the dyer's hand, subdued to what it works in." — William Shakespeare "A wolf is no less a wolf because he's dressed up in a sheepskin." — Aesop "Falsehood is easy, truth is so hard." — Henry David Thoreau #truth #transparency #character #integrity #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #respect #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #authenticity

My book was released around the world in September 2018.  In December 2018, with no evidence, former client Toray Plastics' vindictive American executives sued me, angry I addressed a valid shooting threat and jealous of my book. Eight years later, the saga continues..... "A lawsuit can be a weapon." — Bari Weiss "The purpose of [a lawsuit] is to harass and discourage rather than to win. The law can be used very easily to harass..." — L. Ron Hubbard #freespeech #FairTrial #justice #truth #liberty #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #truth #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #freedom #psychologicalsafetyatworkact

"He that is humble, ever is striving to be trusted. He that is proud, ever is hiding his weakness." - Friedrich Nietzsche "People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and any-body who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster." - James Baldwin "To be proud and inaccessible is to show us a pride that is not our own, but a weakness that we would fain conceal." - Thomas Fuller #LeadersArentBullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #humility  #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #strength  This admiration and worship of power is what facilitates bullying in the workplace. Incompetent and insecure people place inordinate importance on being in charge and powerful to compensate for their lack of talent. 

Happy Sunday!  Overjoyed to announce the birth of our Grandchild (and Granddaughter!) #2! All are well!  Best wishes for a great week!

"A bully's/narcissist’s criticism is a confession. They accuse you of what they do, or what they ." —are Shannon L. Alder "Denial is not just a river in Egypt; it is the primary defense mechanism of the bully/narcissist." — Unknown "Pathological bullies/narcissists can never apologize. To them, an apology is an admission of weakness and total defeat." — Sam Vaknin "Blaming is the easiest way to solve a problem because it locks you in the role of the victim." — Elizabeth Gilbert #ownership #accountability #maturity #rationality #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #decency  #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #honesty

"A democracy cannot function effectively when its constituent members believe laws are being bought and sold." - John Paul Stevens "...moneyed interests seem to enjoy an easier road to relief in this Court than ordinary citizens." - Ketanji Brown Jackson "It is a shocking thing when a judge of your high office is shown to have betrayed the truth and his / her honor..." - Florence Ellinwood Allen (First female U.S. Circuit Judge) #democracy #justice #truth #liberty #honor #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #speakout #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #FreeSpeech

"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." — Lord Acton "The surest way to work up a crusade in favor of some good cause is to promise people they will have a chance of maltreating someone. To be able to destroy with good conscience, to be able to behave badly and call your bad behavior 'righteous indignation' is the height of luxury, the most delicious moral treat." — Aldous Huxley #power #good #selfless #love #capitalism #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #protect #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #community People who push others around are often driven by the need for power. It takes a conscious choice to bully and to derive pleasure in having power and control over others. #LeadersArentBullies

"Japan is a good friend and ally.  Whenever and however we can help them, we will." - Donald Trump "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty." - John F. Kennedy #friends #allies #help #support #success #liberty #leadersarentbullies #healthyworkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #peace #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #freedom

"Strong people bring out the best in others. Weak people build themselves up at the expense of others." — Unknown "War grows out of the desire of the individual to gain advantage at the expense of his fellow man." — Napoleon Hill #strength #best #peace #sacrifice #humility #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #multisum #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #teamwork

"Our team has found a way to create a great culture and environment for winning." - Tom Brady "Talent wins games, teamwork and intelligence wins championships." — Michael Jordan Let stated values, beliefs, and behaviors define and reflect an organization’s culture. Let positive behaviors and outcomes reflect the quality of the psychosocial work environment.  #winning #modeling #values #beliefs #behaviors #LeadersArentBullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #culture #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #goodhabits

"The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile." - Plato “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix "The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team." - John Wooden #conquerself #power #love #peace #team #give #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #sacrifice #psycholigicalsafetyatworkact #humility

A bully's greatest fear is being exposed as an incompetent fraud.  The most talented and gifted employees trigger this fear.  Attacking these triggers is workplace bullying's root cause.   "What we don't understand, we fear. What we fear, we judge as evil. What we judge as evil, we attempt to control. And what we cannot control, we attack." - Dan Brown #competence #confidence #talent #gifts #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces #leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #embrace #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #welcome

"I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country." - Thomas Jefferson “A corrupt judge does not carefully search for the truth.” - Horace “Corrupt judges accept secret bribes, and then justice is not done.” - Proverbs 17:23 “An armed robber steals your money, but a corrupt judge steals your liberty and future under the cover of the law.” - Anonymous #truth #strength #Adherence #justice #integrity #leadersarentbullies #HealthyWorkplaces ##leaderselevatethoughtandconduct #FairTrial #psychologicalsafetyatworkact #FreeSpeech